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Post by Ex on Mar 1, 2018 12:11:02 GMT -5
If you trace most of those monsters' gazes, yeah, they thinkin' sleazy yo.
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Post by Sarge on Mar 1, 2018 12:17:40 GMT -5
I was going to comment to that effect. It's pretty clear what they're looking at...
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Post by Ex on Mar 1, 2018 12:26:01 GMT -5
I was going to comment to that effect. It's pretty clear what they're looking at... That one dude in the back be like
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Post by chibby on Mar 1, 2018 18:00:20 GMT -5
How much product do you think it would actually take to give my hair that much volume? Like did she just drop right before the picture was taken, or does she walk around with 4ft hair in all directions?
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Post by Ex on Mar 2, 2018 14:04:43 GMT -5
15. Dirty Pair: Project Eden | Famicom | 1987 | 3/10Dirty Pair: Project Eden is a Japan-only Famicom Disk System video game developed and published by Bandai in 1987. The subject matter is sourced from the anime film of the same name (which proceeded this game by a mere five months). The Dirty Pair are a duo of crime-solving intergalactic field agents (Kei is the redhead, Yuri is the brunette) for an intergalactic trouble-solving service in a distant future where mankind has colonized thousands of star systems. Though they prefer to be called the Lovely Angels, the Dirty Pair are so named by others for the massive amount of collateral damage that tends to follow each of their missions (though it's rarely their fault). For this game's plot, the Dirty Pair visit an alien planet to stop an evil scientist from using a computer system to take over the galaxy, or some such silliness as that. Dirty Pair: Project Eden can either be played alone, in which case the player takes control of blue haired Yuri, or in a two-player simultaneous mode in which the second player takes control of red-haired Kei. Dirty Pair: Project Eden's length consists of four sections. Section one and section three are straightforward auto-scrolling platforming stages, in which the player has to jump around and shoot incoming enemies. Mainly just shooting though. Shooting. A. Lot. These sections feel less like platforming, and more like a shmup with a human instead of a ship. It's possible to get a special power up that allows Yuri and Kei to ride in a little shooting ship during these segments. The fact that a ship can replace the human characters so easily proves these "platforming" stages are just shmup stages in disguise. There are occasional instant death pitfalls though, so occasional jumping is required. Anyway during sections one and three, it's best to just shoot constantly, and grab whatever power ups appear. Eventually these levels will scroll to the end, in which case the player simply touches the right side of the screen and the stage ends. In section two and section four the gameplay changes to non-linear room-based maze-layouts, in which the player has to find disks in order to finish the section. These sections add a z-axis, allowing the player to maneuver upwards and downwards on the floor, as well as side to side. Many rooms are locked and must be unlocked first by using bombs, key cards or other means. Enemies are still present, and the player must continuously shoot shoot shoot. Eventually the player will bumble their way through these mazes, as the complexity isn't too overwhelming. These sections feel more like contrived busy work to extend the length of the gameplay, and not particularly fun by any stretch. All that explained, let me say unequivocally that Dirty Pair: Project Eden is terrible. (Anytime I say "terrible" folks, I really mean it.) The graphics are straight up awful, even for a 1986 game. The only effort really put into the pixel work was for the two female protagonists. Sound effects are trash, and the pathetic "music" is basically ear torture. The simple controls work fine, but the actual gameplay is so instantly repetitive that becoming quickly bored is absolutely guaranteed. Enemy designs and attack patterns are amateurish in the extreme, and there's not even any bosses to fight. The gameplay boils down to shooting a lot, and sometimes searching for disks. If there was more gameplay variety, more effort put into the presentation, some plot building cutscenes between sections, and perhaps a life bar (one hit kills here), then Dirty Pair: Project Eden might be recommendable. As it exists now, I wouldn't recommend this trash even to huge fans of the manga / anime. Sadly Dirty Pair: Project Eden feels exactly like what it was. A quick and dirty cash grab licensed junk fest, capitalizing on the fleeting popularity of a piece of pop culture with the minimal required effort. What a waste of great source material. These angels may be lovely, but their FDS game is anything but.
PS If for some reason you still want to play this game, there is an English fan translation available for it. However the English fan translation is just as amateurish as the game it translates. Fair warning.
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Post by Sarge on Mar 2, 2018 14:43:05 GMT -5
Sounds pretty terrible. Thanks for the writeup / warning!
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Post by Xeogred on Mar 2, 2018 17:54:31 GMT -5
Kei and Yuri deserve better.
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Post by Sarge on Mar 3, 2018 1:04:07 GMT -5
Cross-posted from RB: I do believe I beat my first MSX game ever tonight as part of this TR. Psycho World (also known as Psychic World here in the West) is a very strange platformer. The controls are a little janky, but not so much so that it harms the game. You might think your weapons suck, but they get better. You also get access to a lot of them. In fact, there are some mild puzzle-solving elements with the platforming with each weapon. Some might be able to destroy a wall, others melt ice or freeze platforms. It's never anything tough, but it does keep it a bit more interesting than a straight slog. Bosses can also have a mild puzzle-solving element, but honestly, most of them you can just mash and win ridiculously quickly. In fact, you also get something of a shield powerup that makes you invincible for a limited time. That coupled with a powerful weapon equals bad times for bosses. They're all pretty much pushovers. There are eight stages total. They run the gamut from jungles to space stations. There are even a few neat cutscenes at various parts of the game. Overall, it's a pretty neat game. Not amazing, but pretty decent. I played this version because the level layouts are apparently much more sprawling and interesting than the ports to Master System and Game Gear, although I might checkout out the SMS version just to see how much changed.
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Post by Ex on Mar 3, 2018 1:41:04 GMT -5
Kei and Yuri deserve better. Yes. Yes they do. - Nice job Sarge! I beat that game myself, but it was via the Game Gear version. Turns out the Game Gear version is the worst version. Woops! I liked the psychic powers plus puzzles bits though. - Decided to torture myself some more tonight (for about three hours actually) and played through this... 16. Layla | Famicom | 1986 | 5/10Layla is a Japan-only Famicom platformer developed and published by DB Soft in 1986. The player controls a space heroine named Layla (member of special forces group CAT), who has to explore eight different large asteroids, to save her friend Iris from the evil mad scientist Dr. Manitokha. Along the way Layla must find password disks hidden in secret lairs, to be able to face the doctor's final evil. Without the disks, all hope of saving Iris is lost. (I can't help but think Layla's plot and base design must have been influenced by the anime film Dirty Pair: Project Eden, as well as the game Metroid. I saw heavy influences from both in Layla.) Layla's gameplay is much the same for each asteroid stage. Layla lands on the asteroid, explores its hostile alien world, seeking the entrance to Manitokha's hidden lair. Upon finding the lair, Layla finds its respective disk, then destroys a boss created by Manitokha. Then Layla zooms off into space, seeking the next asteroid. This is the same cycle which is repeated eight times. Until Layla finally reaches asteroid eight's lair's end, and faces Manitokha himself (or rather his final creation). Layla moves like a standard platforming character. She can run, jump, duck, and shoot. Layla can duck, then jump while ducked, and doing so makes her jump higher. Layla has a life bar which is refilled by eating ice cream or cake, left behind by slain aliens. (Yes if you didn't know, dead aliens instantly turn into junk food.) Though she has a life bar, Layla only has one life. Layla has access to a large amount of weaponry, which can be cycled by the select button. Ammo for all these weapons is found in copious loot crates found throughout each stage (yes loot crates in 1986, no DLC required). The asteroid parts of each stage are linear, with Layla often solving simple environment puzzles to proceed. When not doing that, Layla must jump over pits, and is always fighting hostile alien lifeforms. Once Layla finds a lair, the stage designs become nonlinear. (Hence the "MAZE ACTION GAME" slogan on the box art.) Layla has to utilize elevators to explore multiple floors of the lair, solving a maze like series of areas, until she finds its disk, and destroys the boss monster residing there. In the hidden lairs, rather than aliens to kill, Layla must instead deal with Manitokha's security systems (robots and turrets... which also turn into junk food randomly). During space travel (between asteroid stages) Layla is given the chance to partake in bonus missions. Layla flies on her space bike shooting lasers at space monsters. Basically the game turns into a shmup, and points are awarded for successful destruction of enemy chains. The points however do nothing but raise the player's score. Which only matters if the player wants the "High Score"... for a single player home console game. That was a selling point in the mid '80s I guess. The graphical presentation is decent for a 1986 Famicom game. I enjoyed the tile work, which manages to successfully invoke the feel of alien asteroid worlds, as well as synthetic futuristic bases. Layla's sprite is simple, but exudes plenty of charm regardless. I also like how colorful everything is, lots of strong purples and greens. However the OST... not so much. The music here is not only overtly sparse, but rather bad. There's only three tracks I can remember, and each one of them is neither catchy nor enjoyable. Rather these are short crud tunes which loop incessantly and annoy quickly. Sound effects are barely there either. Those complaints alone wouldn't 'cause me to rate Layla a five out of ten. So I'll get to the stuff that did now. Firstly Layla's movement physics are terrible. TERRIBLE. They are overly floaty, with a slow take-off speed, but too fast acceleration once she does start moving. It's very difficult to make Layla perform precision platforming because of this. Her deceleration is also abysmally executed, although the player can duck to make Layla instantly stop moving. But when the player ducks, Layla stays crouched, so to run, stop, and turn around quickly, it's just not a fast process. That means you'll get hit in the back a lot, by enemies you couldn't turn around fast enough to shoot. These bad physics make solving the simple environment puzzles WAY more aggravating then they should be. Worse yet, if the player takes too long to advance the screen, a killer death tornado shows up, and instantly kills the player. I'm not even joking. Take too long to solve a puzzle, and tornado death comes your way. That'll teach you! To not play this game! And speaking of death, if Layla dies, the game sends the player straight to the title screen. Considering how long the asteroid + lair levels are, this can be extremely aggravating. The game does generate a password for each asteroid, but the passwords are eighteen characters long. The asinine method in which the player has to input the passwords means it takes forever to do so. That means every time the player dies, they will be dealing with this horrid password continue system. This won't be too much of an issue for the first five asteroids, as those are easy. Asteroid six starts bringing enemies which do tremendous damage, and are highly resistant to Layla's attacks. Asteroid seven brings even meaner enemies, and even more difficult "puzzles". Asteroid eight's enemies are stupid deadly, and its lair contains a terrible "repeat maze". If you don't know what a "repeat maze" is well, you must not have grown up playing games in the eighties. Let's just say, they're not fun, nor was it necessary to implement one. Ever. In any game. Not even Zelda. My last big complaint would be enemies towards the end take WAY too many hits to die, and are WAY too hard to hit. And, they do WAY too much damage when they hit you. And they will hit you constantly, because they move in erratic random paths, and shoot homing shots (which travel through walls). Fair this is not. However bosses remain pathetically easy throughout the whole game, strangely enough. I have other small complaints, but this review's getting long (hate for a tornado to come). Let me squeeze one more whine in; the life restorative junk food that randomly generates from dead enemies? Yeah that stuff BOUNCES AWAY FROM YOU when it appears. That's right, that pile of ice cream you so desperately need just ran off the screen, through a bunch of enemies which you can't instantly run through yourself. Who by the way, are about to kill you. Because they don't like ice cream. If you do manage to beat Layla, a new mode unlocks which allows the player to replay the whole game again, with both Layla and her friend Iris. Iris simply follows behind Layla, mirroring every move and attack she makes. I'm not sure what the point of this mode is, unless it's to simply kill the mad scientist himself, since Layla already rescued Iris by that point. I didn't play through the whole game again to find out, sorry. Another interesting aspect is all the text in Layla was in English, despite being Japan-only. So if you like to import Famicom games, at least you'll be able to understand this game, no Japanese skill required. That doesn't mean you'll have much fun though. I thought I was having a decent time, until asteroid six and everything that came after that. Even before six, the crap music and bad physics were still bothersome. I'll say that I like the concept of Layla more than its execution. This isn't a terrible game. But compared to Metroid, which released half a year earlier, Layla pales mightily. On the other hand, historically Layla is noted for featuring the third heroine on the Nintendo Entertainment System, after Valkyrie from Valkyrie no Bōken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu and Samus from Metroid. In that regard, I can appreciate that Layla presents two strong female protagonists, who don't even end up nude in a lesbian shower scene together. For '80s Japan anime land, that's socially admirable. PS If for some reason you do finish and somehow enjoy Layla, and masochistically desire more, check out this mod: www.romhacking.net/hacks/3311/"Layla: The Iris Missions is a complete overhaul of the Famicom game Layla. It features all-new levels, altered graphics, an original and much-expanded soundtrack, and many tweaks to game mechanics, with the goal of creating a more modern game experience without compromising the core grabbing-cake-and-ice-cream-on-roller-skates gameplay. Includes action, puzzles, robot mascots, and absolutely no bonus stages!"
I beat the first mission of that mod, and the level design was decent. However the new music is TONS better than the original. TONS.
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Post by Sarge on Mar 3, 2018 13:28:14 GMT -5
I was actually eyeballing that one, too. We'll see if I get to it. I might go with something I'm more familiar with for now, though. EDIT: And there is one familiar, one not so much. Beat Golden Axe and Golden Axe: The Revenge of Death Adder. The latter doesn't count towards the Together Retro, but I always wanted to play through it. The first game is a lot shorter in the arcade; the Genesis game adds some extra stages. It also feels a bit cheaper, but it's also a game that feels eminently abusable if you're willing to be patient. I wasn't, because I was playing on a quarter muncher. Still didn't do too bad, eleven deaths in total for a B rank at the end. I used Tyris, and she's not nearly as good as the dwarf. I used Dora for GAII. She's a centaur lady that interestingly turns human whenever she mounts an enemy. She's also quite fast with some good attacks, but really bad magic. So like the dwarf of the first game, I suppose. I fed a lot of credits into this one, but still managed to get pretty high on the leaderboard. That leads me to believe it was designed even more to be a quarter muncher. Also, the driver in MAME seems to have improved a bit since I last tried it; there's not nearly as many graphical glitches.
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